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I have a secretI have a secret,
One that's bottled up inside,
I have a secret,
That I really should confide.
Should I even tell you?
You're just some guy.
Should I even tell you?
It's easier to lie.
Sometimes I like to dream,
That there is nothing wrong
Sometimes I like to dream,
But I guess I'm not that strong.
I guess I'll share,
What harm could it do?
I guess I'll share,
It might be easier if you knew.
I just want to die.
There you go.
I just want to die.
Now you know.
TiredA question I get asked a lot is: “What's wrong?”
My friends, my family, school authorities, everyone and anyone.
I used to think nothing was wrong. But with that question being asked all the time, am I sure that I'm okay? The more I think about it, the more I come to the realization that something isn't right.
Am I not supposed to be tired after long nights?
Am I not supposed to be stressed out from school and sports?
Am I not supposed to wonder where my future lies?
Am I not supposed to ponder over the past?
Am I not supposed to get anxiety from simply talking to people?
Am I not supposed to get the feeling that no one like me?
Am I not supposed to think about what would happen if I were to just 'disappear'?
Am I not supposed to feel that I'm all alone in this world?
Am I not supposed to pretend that everything is okay?
If I'm not supposed to do all of those things, then what am I supposed to do?
And If I am supposed to do all of those things, then what is really wrong?
Just Keep SmilingBreath
Social AnxietyI get told everyday that I'm just quiet
Yet I refuse to just sit down and buy it
How can I believe that when I can talk for hours and hours upon end with my friend?
Over the Web I could go on not wanting an end.
The reason I don't talk I thought would be simple
But explaining it to people just makes me seem like an imbecile.
It's a fear of being judged for your actions and the fear of social interaction
Regretting every word that you say for the rest of the day.
It's knowing that you have good ideas and but not letting them show
Simply because you have a fear of hearing a “No.”
Once people know, then it gets easy.
For once they don't seem to care if what you say is cheesy.
It's also a fear of attachment because you lose the people you love most
So you sink in the shadows, listening like a ghost.
Gathering information, attempting to process
Thinking of words to say but making no progress
It's whispering your thoughts so no one can hear
Save for the people who actually lend a
Monsters or Nightmares?Many times when we hide under our covers
To escape from the monsters under our bed,
We enter a new realm of nightmares
That's worse than the monsters and easier to dread.
There are so many different forms of the nightmares
None of which we would want to see
But I guess to have feelings of happiness
We need feelings that makes us flee.
Losing a lover.
Stuck in a lake
That's covered in frost.
A simple malfunction.
Losing your clothes.
Pricking your finger
On a beautiful rose.
A volcanic eruption.
Failing a test.
Trying your hardest
When it's never the best.
Losing your house.
A broken down car.
Living in a world
Where no one knows who you are.
Suffering from illness.
Getting an injury
That breaks a bone.
Only to wake in the morning covered in sweat
Dreading what will happen if the nightmare becomes real.
Would you rather have the monsters under your bed?
Or the nightmares that mess with how you feel?
A simple question
But with no simple answer
However I'd ra
Butterfly ProjectThe doors of the school stare menacingly back at me. Other students have no issue going in the building; some who enter occasionally take a glance at me. Why was it so hard for me to go inside? It was just like any other school; I shouldn't be scared.
Sighing, I pull down my sleeves and pull open the metal door, stepping into the hallway. It's lined with lockers, each one being opened by a different student. Warily, I keep walking, all of my books shoved into my backpack. Being new to the school does have its disadvantages; one being having no locker.
Doors begin to approach me and I look for room number 124. As I search, cliques of girls look at me, hiding their mouths behind hands. They begin giggling, and I immediately become self aware of the butterfly on my wrist.
Is that what they're laughing at? My long sleeved shirt doesn’t cover it completely, so it is exposed. I shake my head, trying to ignore the laughter. Finally, I see the room I am supposed to be in and walk toward
My MistakeI made the mistake of trusting you
One too many times
Thought you'd never lie again
But i still see all the signs
I made the mistake of giving you my heart
And you broke it in two
I'm laying here in pieces
And my eyes are crying too
I made the mistake of loving you
I wasted all my time
When i was there, you were with her
I missed you as if you were mine
I made the mistake of believing you
And listening to your plea
But why would you ever
Stay with a girl like me?
My mistake was how i felt
When i was with you
I wish i could turn back time
To when i never knew
Love and PainYou know love?
It's that weird, sinking feeling where you think you're going crazy
You know pain?
It's that awful, searing feeling where you want to die
Know what happens when those two are mixed together?
It's gonna be one heck of a ride if they do
But everyone has gone through the troubles plenty of times
Many have survived the pain and stood strong
You there, yes, you.
Stop crying and lift your chin up
Sweetie, you're perfect in my eyes
You're going to be fine because I'm here for you
He broke your heart? That's okay.
She stole him away from you? That's okay.
You can love me instead.
Don't lose the will to live just because of love and pain
Love is not easy to find nor easy to obtain
But once you grasp it, you'll be in a world of paradise
You'll be happy and you'll never frown
I promise you I will not let you down
But before you get started on this
Promise me you'll never do that again
A love story.[Part 1]
She adjusts her hair in the mirror, and runs down the stairs––
the love of her life is waiting nervously, running his fingers through his hair.
She stops at the last step, and can't hide her smile anymore––
his eyes widen as he sees her, and he looks down shyly to the floor.
She giggles to herself, and walks closer to where he stands––
He looks at her, takes a few steps and extends both of his hands.
She takes them softly in her own… and the feeling is suddenly mutual.
They need each other from that moment on…and it is inevitably crucial.
10 years later they lay asleep, holding hands over the sheets––
He wakes up gently smiling, grazes her feet as he watches her sleep.
He blows air on her face softly, and she lets out adorable sighs––
He lays on his side and caresses her face, until she opens up her eyes.
She whispers "hello" with a wink, as she begins to stretch out her arms––
My LifeLiving my life
I feel so alone
All on my own
As I walk through the depressing rain
I hope to go numb
So I won’t feel the pain
Eating away at me
I feel like I’m nothing
And only wishing to be something
I hope for anyone to notice me
But it seems I’m not meant to be
Because everyone walks right through me
And all my hopes, and dreams, all my wishes to be something
All means nothing now
As I enter my world of hopelessness
My empty, lifeless dark room
That is filled with all my loneliness, pain, and sorrow
The place I call home
Where I stay
Through all my lifeless, empty days
The place I call hell
Look into my eyes and you can tell
See the pain, loneliness, and sorrow I feel
Live my life
You’ll think it’s unreal
I know my fate
To sink in despair
I’d be surprised
If one person cared
I only wanted one friend
That would stay with me
Till my journey’s end
Love Hurts“Love hurts”.
I never knew the meaning of those words.
How could something so beautiful be so curt?
Why do they say it flies away like a bird?
“Stop this nonsense”.
They never did quite understand or see.
Our love has no consequence
As I was meant for you and you for me.
“Don’t choose with your ego”.
I’m not doing this all for me or for you.
I just love his smile that always does glow,
And between us, things are never blue.
“He will break you”.
Please do not just assume that
What happened to you will happen to me too.
I would know if he was a threat.
“There is no such thing as fate”.
You say it with such conviction,
Are you so quick to hate?
You have never seen the darkness brighten
To the one who holds my heart.I looked into your heart and found a mirror of mine;
the sacred scarlet muscle that so drives our lives.
That bloody pumping rhythm is so hard to define,
and does assault my mind like a thousand buzzing hives.
And yet without this confusion love has no spine,
'tis but a sordid wasteful thing which never survives.
In you I see something that does make stars align,
a power beyond time, keener than sharpest knives.
And it is through this Earth that we will ride
Without fair guidance or friendly hand
To guide us to that so surreptitious lonesome path.
I take the pain of this world in my stride,
and wonder solemnly if this was all planned
Or if our emblazoned love transcends all wrath.
In Another StateIn another state, all alone.
I Moved out on my own.
Family seems like a curse,
But being away is so much worse.
What to do, I'm not sure.
Maybe support is part of the cure.
Thinking about leaving this place.
Return to the familiar faces.
A great job, I'll leave behind.
At home, what will I find.
There's all the money that I earn.
And the money I have to return.
What if things fall back to before.
I really want something more.
A change in my life is what I need,
Instead of focusing on this greed.
What if things just don't turn new?
I'm not really sure what to do.
Maybe I'll go back and get my PhD.
I could even switch to psychology.
I guess I'll just wait and see.
Things can only improve for me.
You Destroyed MeI wish you understood,
that you were my friend
But you found so many ways,
to rip my heart into pieces..
You used to be there,
you always helped me stand tall.
But now I see that these were lies,
you never cared about me at all...
I thought of you as a friend,
but your just like everyone else.
Now just leave me alone in this world,
and watch me suffer into the night.
I lost so many people,
I am better off alone.
You were my friend,
but you destroyed the only thing that mattered.
You destroyed my trust,
you destroyed my life.
so leave me the hell alone,
and watch me suffer in this world alone..
Why can’t you hear me?
Why won’t you answer me?
Why don’t you look at me?
Please see me…
I’m sick of being a ghost…
Of my words falling
Onto the cold hard earth
Of your ears.
No one hears the snow
All you do is feel it…
Can you feel me?
Feel my presence…
The hand I reach out for
To steady me…
Or for the shoulder
When I need to cry…
But no one feels a ghost…
Look at me…
Speak to me…
Laugh with me…
I’m an amazing person
You just wait and see
I’ll show you the world I see
I’ll show you how to smile and laugh again
I’ll show you the promise of love
Even though you have given it up
I’ll show you adventure
And watch adrenaline pump through our system
And watch these feelings of ours grow.
Even if I haven’t met you yet…
I know you are out there
Do you have a second?Can I tell you something?
Just listen for a second.
I think that you're amazing.
Not just you,
But who you really are.
What I see underneath.
Sure you can be mean sometimes.
But I've seen you be sweet.
I'm not blind.
And your looks are perfect
No I'm not saying you are the most beautiful
Or the most handsome person in the world.
I'm saying you are perfect.
Your eyes can hold a gaze for hours.
Your smile can draw anyone away from the world.
Your laugh can brighten up anyone's day.
And your personality can make anyone fall in love.
I wish I could tell you that in person
But this poem must suffice
Because where you are is a mystery
But who you are, isn't.
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More